Bulletin of ZOMBIE Research

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Since the first confirmed accounts of violence by persons testing positive for ZOMBI Encephalitis on disease-free humans, ZOMBIE Damage Prevention Programs operated under a variety of unsubstantiated assumptions. Research and management were guided by beliefs that ZOMBIEs maintained neither the identity nor the cognitive abilities of their disease-free human origins, but instead functioned in an animated, feeding-focused, solely instinct-based vegetated state. This vegetated state has been described to include losses in reasoning, comprehension of cause and effect, abilities to learn and predict, as well as the loss of language and communication skills. Observations of ZOMBIE group aggregation, reciprocal sound production, and changes in behavior following apparent eye contact, however, suggest coordination in behavior that may indicate unique, to-date undescribed interZOMBIE communication.

Until now, studies comprehensively evaluating these and other critical research and management needs have been precluded by ZOMBIE-associated hazards. Fortunately, new methods for conducting safe field and laboratory studies with ZOMBIEs now allow investigation into these research and management needs. Institutions equipped and certified to responsibly house individuals positive for the disease are now able to manage limited populations for permitted research purposes. The results of these studies are featured in the BULLETIN OF ZOMBIE RESEARCH.

CONTENTS

Documentation and Potential Consequences of Alternative Host-Use by the Monarch Butterfly, Danaus plexippus L.

[Pages 1-30]

ZOMBI Encephalitis-Associated Increases in the Germination and Growth of Four Thistle Species (Family: Asteraceae)

[Pages 31-49]

Management of Canada thistle, Cirsium arvense (Asteraceae), via Administration of Systemic Aminopyralid in Homo sapiens

[Pages 51-68]

Adaptations in Alimentary Canal Structure in Subjects with Zooanthroponotic Occult MetaBiomimetic Infectious Encephalitis

[Pages 69-87]

Disease-Associated Scalp Hair and Follicular Changes in Individuals with Zooanthroponotic Occult MetaBiomimetic Infectious Encephalitis

[Pages 89-112]

Newborn Condition and Complete Blood Count in Pregnant Human Females Infected with Zooanthroponotic Occult MetaBiomimetic Infectious Encephalitis

[Pages 113-138]

Variations in Stage IV Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer Five-Year Survival in Patients with Toxoplasma gondii, Meningioma, and Zooanthroponotic Occult MetaBiomimetic Infectious Encephalitis

[Pages 139-155]

Evidence and Implications of interZOMBIE Communication

[Pages 157-182]